The Price of Poo

So Callie is a child that struggles with constipation, and M and I struggle with what the hell to do to get our child to poop. Amazing how pooping becomes a MAJOR life altering event, but in our household, Callie taking a crap is actually better than having Ed McMahon knock on our door with a giant ten million dollar check. So maybe that is an exaggeration, but let me tell ya, it is a celebration when Callie finally goes to the potty around here. (Remember ladies, I claimed long ago that we have no life, so get over it and keep reading).
We have talked to the pediatrician so many times I am sure she is tired of hearing about Callie's bowel habits, or lack of bowel habits I should say. Well, the bottom line is that Callie is scared that it is going to create PAIN when she goes, so she holds it in only causing MORE pain. Of course we have tried explaining it to her, but when you are four years old and all you know is that when you go to the bathroom your bummy feels like it has been lit on fire, you choose to avoid the voice of reason.
So after giving this child every version of fiber, and loading her up with anything that might make it easier for her to poop, I was told by quite a few folks to give her an incentive. So today as she was writhing in pain and refusing to go to the bathroom, I asked her what toy she would like to have if she went to the potty. She started telling me about a My Little Pony that one of her classmates brought to school for show and tell. So I started telling her that we would go get the pony as soon as she pooped. We went through a lot of tears, and a lot of hesitation, but I finally got her to the bathroom talking all about My Little Pony. She was telling me that this damn Pony sings and dances, so I was playing right into it as she is sitting there with a beet red face and a look of panic. I was telling her that the Pony would be singing and she would have so much fun brushing her hair, and although she was petrified, she was finally trying to go. I was determined!! I kept talking about the Pony and she did the job! YIPPPEEEEEE!!!! I could harddly wipe the child's butt because she was jumping up and down. She couldn't wait to get her prize for pooping. Wouldn't it be great to get the things you want in life just from sitting on the toilet! WOW! Amazing huh....well wait till ya hear this.
I decide to hop on the computer to take a look at this toy I was going to go buy. She told me it sings and dances and plays games. I still wasn't thinking I would have sticker shock, but when this crazy Pony popped up on the Wal Mart site the price tag was $50.00!!! Heaven help me, I just paid a child $50 for poop! I tried to tell her that there were so many other My Little Pony toys and we needed to pick out another one, but her little face looked so betrayed after I practically forced her to push through the pain and actually poop that I knew I was on the hook for this $50 pony!!!
I knew M would be PISSED at me, but hell, she wasn't there! Not easy to see a child in pain and feel so helpless. But ultimately, I was had! In the end though, she did poop, and that was worth $50! Take a look at this happy little girl with her new Pony! The damn thing better know how to wipe Callie's butt too for $50.00 freakin dollars!!!!